Great post! Need these reminders periodically. BTW… not only the kids are aware of the “phubs” but if you have pets… I bet they do too. I know mine do! My Frenchie is always whacking my hand away from my phone when I’m mindlessly scrolling. BTW, your Friday night to Saturday moratorium on phone use actually has ancient roots…. Rules for no work on Shabbat! 😇💙🎉
You're so right Dame - there's a reason why just about every major religion has some sort of way to honor rest (Shabbat, Sabbath, etc) - wisdom! And such a great point about "phubbing" our pets - my cat definitely craves my attention when I'm on my phone.
This truly could not be more well timed. The other day I was thinking “I just don’t have time for the things I feel I should do, let alone could or want to…” and then I realized I DO, I just waste so much of it on this stupid thing permanently in my hand. Thank you for the inspiration and accountability!!
It’s really game changing, isn’t it!? I don’t think I’d realized how much my texts (and emails, and DM’s) throughout the day were overwhelming my mental state.
This is such a great list and also timely for me as I’ve been feeling all too consumed with my phone. I turned off notifications 5 years ago and I’ve never looked back, although I still pick up my phone more than I’d like. Also, two years ago I had the opportunity to do a 2 week backpacking trip without my phone. I took it and the experience was truly life changing. I didn’t realize how dependent I’d become on my phone for so many things, navigation, connection, memory. One of the things that was striking to me is that I couldn’t just pick up my phone and reach out to the people I was thinking about, instead I connected with the people I was with about the people I was thinking about. I’m 28 so I grew up with the internet, and I had never had an experience like this in my adult life. The internet is older than me so truly, I do not know what it is like to live in an internet free world. Having that experience was a major inspiration to break up with my phone. Since then, I’ve stopped sleeping with my phone in my room (but I have occasional relapses - resolve to begin again!), and I try to leave my phone behind as often as I can. For example, for a walk on the beach where it is crowded and if something happened there would be someone around me to help, I leave my phone in the car. For a walk around the neighborhood where this would similarly be the case, I leave my phone at home. These have been beneficial for me as it carves out more mini-breaks with my phone that bring a little more awareness into my day. Lastly, after 7 years of trying to break up with social media, what I do now is:
(1) when I’m a mindless scroll trap, I change my password on Facebook / Instagram to something I don’t remember and I don’t save it anywhere. Or I ask someone close to me to do this for me, and not give it to me unless I come up with a good reason. It’s extreme I know but this is what it’s taken for me.
(2) now, I have Instagram on my phone maybe one day every 2 weeks or once a month. Otherwise the app is deleted off my phone. Having these long breaks is necessary because it gives me a chance to feel what it’s like to live life without the constant comparison daily.
Even with all of this I’m still at 4 hours / screen time / a day.
If this sounds like I’m killing it at the digital break up game - I still find plenty of ways to waste time on my phone. Now, it’s mindlessly refreshing emails even when there is nothing new, and googling YouTube videos about interesting things I’m curious about. I spent 30 minutes last night watching Belle Gibson’s 60 minutes interview when I had planned to read and go to bed! So just as a note, these things will creep up, and there will always be room for improvement. (: I’m trying to work on becoming aware of the triggers that make me reach for my phone / a distraction, and then how I feel afterwards. How long does it take me to get my presence back when I’m distracted by the internet?
Areas where id like to improve: I’m on my phone a lot when someone else is driving. I often use this time to catch up on emails, responses, or texts. But more often than not it leaves me feeling drained and rushing again. So I’m going to try carving out response hours!
This is so good Lexi!! So much wisdom + practical steps. I agree that taking these longer breaks is so necessary to break habits and "reflexes" that can so easily creep back into our lives.
Was so excited to read “learning to play golf” at the very end! I started playing last year and implemented a no-phone policy while I’m out there so I can be fully present while I learn. It’s life-changing. I look forward to playing golf more than any other activity, not because it’s fun (it’s frustrating being so new and bad!) but because it’s some of the only time I’m 100% in-the-moment.
Love this post - might try phone-free Saturdays also!
This is great. I do all of these except the one day off completely and nighttime because I use an app to monitor my nursing schedule with my 5 month old. But once I don’t need to, I’ll be moving my phone out the bedroom.
Can’t wait to hear how the weekend goes! I proposed this idea but out 15 year old refused it. I’m unsure how to proceed without making it a battle. I want it to be a positive experience. Any ideas how to get the teens on board?
I was really surprised how much my 12-year-old actually enjoyed it once we got into the day - I think she was craving freedom from screens as much as me (just didn't realize it!) Perhaps the key is to plan something fun that they actually look forward to. And having your undivided attention to listen and engage goes a long way.
Feel like I have a decent handle on my technology and my 3 kids, but love the idea of one full day a week to put it all away! Look forward to hearing how your Saturdays are going!
Thank you for putting this “on paper”. I am not an influencer but still struggle with being present. I appreciate hearing how you are using these tools.
This is so great! I turned off notifications about a year ago - best thing ever! Although, my phone is still quite a distraction, so I am looking for more ways to stop picking it up so often.
Are you or were you ever worried about your algorithm or content slacking because of this? I too can live off my phone a lot but then I come back and I feel like it needs my attention to pick back up again and I get caught up in that cycle. And I’m unsure how to manage that. I want to live more freely but algorithm needs me on there more it seems.
Great post! Need these reminders periodically. BTW… not only the kids are aware of the “phubs” but if you have pets… I bet they do too. I know mine do! My Frenchie is always whacking my hand away from my phone when I’m mindlessly scrolling. BTW, your Friday night to Saturday moratorium on phone use actually has ancient roots…. Rules for no work on Shabbat! 😇💙🎉
You're so right Dame - there's a reason why just about every major religion has some sort of way to honor rest (Shabbat, Sabbath, etc) - wisdom! And such a great point about "phubbing" our pets - my cat definitely craves my attention when I'm on my phone.
This truly could not be more well timed. The other day I was thinking “I just don’t have time for the things I feel I should do, let alone could or want to…” and then I realized I DO, I just waste so much of it on this stupid thing permanently in my hand. Thank you for the inspiration and accountability!!
"Designated times for texts" has worked so well for me! It helps me beat the habit of just picking up my phone.
It’s really game changing, isn’t it!? I don’t think I’d realized how much my texts (and emails, and DM’s) throughout the day were overwhelming my mental state.
This is such a great list and also timely for me as I’ve been feeling all too consumed with my phone. I turned off notifications 5 years ago and I’ve never looked back, although I still pick up my phone more than I’d like. Also, two years ago I had the opportunity to do a 2 week backpacking trip without my phone. I took it and the experience was truly life changing. I didn’t realize how dependent I’d become on my phone for so many things, navigation, connection, memory. One of the things that was striking to me is that I couldn’t just pick up my phone and reach out to the people I was thinking about, instead I connected with the people I was with about the people I was thinking about. I’m 28 so I grew up with the internet, and I had never had an experience like this in my adult life. The internet is older than me so truly, I do not know what it is like to live in an internet free world. Having that experience was a major inspiration to break up with my phone. Since then, I’ve stopped sleeping with my phone in my room (but I have occasional relapses - resolve to begin again!), and I try to leave my phone behind as often as I can. For example, for a walk on the beach where it is crowded and if something happened there would be someone around me to help, I leave my phone in the car. For a walk around the neighborhood where this would similarly be the case, I leave my phone at home. These have been beneficial for me as it carves out more mini-breaks with my phone that bring a little more awareness into my day. Lastly, after 7 years of trying to break up with social media, what I do now is:
(1) when I’m a mindless scroll trap, I change my password on Facebook / Instagram to something I don’t remember and I don’t save it anywhere. Or I ask someone close to me to do this for me, and not give it to me unless I come up with a good reason. It’s extreme I know but this is what it’s taken for me.
(2) now, I have Instagram on my phone maybe one day every 2 weeks or once a month. Otherwise the app is deleted off my phone. Having these long breaks is necessary because it gives me a chance to feel what it’s like to live life without the constant comparison daily.
Even with all of this I’m still at 4 hours / screen time / a day.
If this sounds like I’m killing it at the digital break up game - I still find plenty of ways to waste time on my phone. Now, it’s mindlessly refreshing emails even when there is nothing new, and googling YouTube videos about interesting things I’m curious about. I spent 30 minutes last night watching Belle Gibson’s 60 minutes interview when I had planned to read and go to bed! So just as a note, these things will creep up, and there will always be room for improvement. (: I’m trying to work on becoming aware of the triggers that make me reach for my phone / a distraction, and then how I feel afterwards. How long does it take me to get my presence back when I’m distracted by the internet?
Areas where id like to improve: I’m on my phone a lot when someone else is driving. I often use this time to catch up on emails, responses, or texts. But more often than not it leaves me feeling drained and rushing again. So I’m going to try carving out response hours!
This is so good Lexi!! So much wisdom + practical steps. I agree that taking these longer breaks is so necessary to break habits and "reflexes" that can so easily creep back into our lives.
Was so excited to read “learning to play golf” at the very end! I started playing last year and implemented a no-phone policy while I’m out there so I can be fully present while I learn. It’s life-changing. I look forward to playing golf more than any other activity, not because it’s fun (it’s frustrating being so new and bad!) but because it’s some of the only time I’m 100% in-the-moment.
Love this post - might try phone-free Saturdays also!
This is so encouraging for me to read Jules!! Love your phone-free policy on the course - I am 100% adopting it.
This is great. I do all of these except the one day off completely and nighttime because I use an app to monitor my nursing schedule with my 5 month old. But once I don’t need to, I’ll be moving my phone out the bedroom.
Can’t wait to hear how the weekend goes! I proposed this idea but out 15 year old refused it. I’m unsure how to proceed without making it a battle. I want it to be a positive experience. Any ideas how to get the teens on board?
I was really surprised how much my 12-year-old actually enjoyed it once we got into the day - I think she was craving freedom from screens as much as me (just didn't realize it!) Perhaps the key is to plan something fun that they actually look forward to. And having your undivided attention to listen and engage goes a long way.
Recharging your life is a necessary habit. Thank you sharing your thoughts.
Feel like I have a decent handle on my technology and my 3 kids, but love the idea of one full day a week to put it all away! Look forward to hearing how your Saturdays are going!
Thank you for putting this “on paper”. I am not an influencer but still struggle with being present. I appreciate hearing how you are using these tools.
This is so great! I turned off notifications about a year ago - best thing ever! Although, my phone is still quite a distraction, so I am looking for more ways to stop picking it up so often.
Are you or were you ever worried about your algorithm or content slacking because of this? I too can live off my phone a lot but then I come back and I feel like it needs my attention to pick back up again and I get caught up in that cycle. And I’m unsure how to manage that. I want to live more freely but algorithm needs me on there more it seems.