Your Life Called: It Wants You Back

How I'm breaking up with my phone one small step at a time.

One night just before Christmas, we settled in for a family movie night—PJs, hot chocolate, and Elf queued up. It was perfect—except for the fact that I don’t actually remember watching any of the movie. I was simultaneously catching up on emails, replying to DMs, getting lost in a comments thread rabbit hole, and answering texts. Sure, I was physically present, but mentally, I was somewhere else.

Even though I still managed to laugh at the right moments (it’s a talent) kids are smart—we humans are wired to pick up on the subtlest of social cues to know if someone is really paying attention to us. “Don’t worry, I’m watching!” I protested when they called me out. But even though I eventually put my phone away, it didn’t feel quite like the magical night I’d envisioned. The mental residue of everything I'd just consumed kept me from fully engaging in what could have been a great memory.

It was another reminder in a long line of wake-up calls: I don’t want to live my life in a half-distracted state. The devices in our pockets make it so easy to slip into autopilot, scrolling mindlessly or reacting to notifications. But the reality is, when we’re on our phones, we’re checked out.

When "influencing” first became a thing so many years ago, I didn’t fully recognize the importance of setting boundaries between my social media life and my real life. I can remember spending entire chunks of vacations trying to capture the perfect photo, craft the perfect caption, and then monitor the comments that either validated me or left me feeling flat. Hours that could have been spent swimming, exploring, or simply being present with my family. Thankfully, I haven’t done that in years (now I delete all my social apps when I’m on vacation), but still—I wish I could get those wasted hours back.

Throwback to 2015, when vacation could feel like one long photoshoot. Props to Adam for the 30+ takes to get the one. 😂