This Post Took Four Years to Write

Same vision, new beginnings in Malibu

Two weeks ago, our living room was torn apart. The drywall and flooring were removed, then the insulation, to reveal framing that hadn’t been exposed in 75 years. It was a moment we’d been waiting for over 4 years since the day we bought the beach house and began our journey of endless permitting delays with the City of Malibu.

When we started the project, our youngest, Henry, hadn’t begun kindergarten. Now, as we’re finally beginning construction, he’s halfway through fourth grade. The journey of this house has been a masterclass in patience and pivots, teaching us that the only thing that’s really in our control is choosing the next right step.

The juice and the squeeze

And now, we’re actually making progress on our dream. Like most dreams in the process of being realized, it’s a mix of highs and lows. Just days after our builder sent us photos of the first stages of demo, the wildfires broke out across LA, including the iconic stretch of the Pacific Coast Highway that leads into Malibu. Some of the spots that burned are where my love for this town first began to grow roots—my brother’s wedding reception at the Reel Inn, the house on the beach that we rented one summer when the kids were babies.

Since a red flag warning was in effect (due to high winds and the increased risk of wildfires), our construction crew stopped work just a few days after starting. It’s a strange juxtaposition to be creating something new in a place where homes continue to be destroyed, and the challenges we've faced pale in comparison to what so many have lost this year in the fires.

And we know there's risk, but I believe that all of life is a risk. The memories we've created here, the sunsets and the ocean—for me, its worth it. And that’s where trust comes in (my theme for 2025). Malibu is my soul place—I’ve felt an almost bizarre connection to it since I first started spending time here, and to not chase this dream would be soul-crushing.

Let’s hope the juice is worth the squeeze.

The beach house, before demo

When you fall in love with a place

I’ll never forget renting a house one summer on Big Rock Beach with some of our best friends and all our kids. We cooked dinners in our swimsuits overlooking the ocean, hunted for sea urchins, drank wine at sunset. Henry was just two, and I remember one day he had a major meltdown. To calm him, we strapped him into the car seat and drove north along the PCH with the windows down. We pulled into a parking lot and let him run around in his diaper on a huge stretch of beautiful sand. I remember how his tantrums immediately turned to laughter. That week was the first time I stepped foot on Zuma Beach, the place that ultimately inspired the brand I created. Funny how life works.

Malibu scrapbook ❤️

A couple years later, I spent the day with a friend who lived on Carbon Beach as we captured a day in her life for the site. We visited the local farm stand to gather ingredients for dinner, she dug a hole in the sand, and we cooked our meal over an open fire. That night, we sat around the fire on beach blankets, mesmerized by the sound of the ocean and the sunset silhouetting Malibu Pier. At that moment, I felt certain that Malibu would play a role in our family’s future.

The long road home

In the summer of 2020, the world was shut down, and we were at home questioning whether we were living our lives to their fullest potential. Adam and I were craving a new adventure—a project that would push us out of our comfort zone. So, we carpe diem’d and found a real estate agent, masked up, and flew out to LA to look at a few properties. But only one captured our hearts. It was a real fixer-upper with one of those floor plans with funky add-ons that made zero sense. There was a bizarrely shaped guest house above the garage with awful carpeting and a terribly outdated kitchen. (Oh, and there were cameras everywhere—apparently the previous owner sold sex toys.) But the property itself…

An acre of land overlooking our beloved Zuma Beach, with views of a beautiful horse farm, and gardens overflowing with wild roses and olive trees. The breezes carried the scent of jasmine and salt water, and at night the sun set just at the point where the ocean meets the mountains. We were in love.

Turning dreams into (cold, hard) reality

A couple months of negotiations and figuring out loan details later, we got the keys to the house and our journey began. We hired Doug Burdge, a Malibu-based architect we loved immediately, and he reinvented the floor plan with a 1,000-square-foot addition. We got our ducks in a row and submitted everything to the city. And then began the wild adventure of red tape that is City of Malibu permitting. It’s really too boring to describe, but essentially, it was years of waiting, questioning whether we were doing the right thing, and wondering how much of our lives would be spent in limbo.

But there was a beautiful side, too. During those four years of waiting, we made some of the most precious memories of our lives in that funky beach bungalow. We’ve spent the kids’ summer vacations there, been regulars at the weekend farm stand, and made great friends. We’ve spent countless nights around the fire pit, searched for constellations, explored beaches up and down the coast. It’s our slice of heaven, where my nervous system instantly resets and my soul feels at peace. The beach house has reminded me that a home is so much more than aesthetics—it’s the joy within its walls and the experiences you fill it with.

So far, this dream of ours has been the ultimate reminder that whatever it is you’re building, all good things take time. (I just read an interview with Kate Winslet that describes her eight year journey to bring the movie, Lee, to life.) It’s required massive amounts of patience, struggle, and uncertainty, but we held tightly to our vision. And I’m so glad we didn’t give up.

The next chapter

And now it’s time for the old beach house to RIP and make room for what’s next. It’s served its purpose, and I am so excited to get this show on the road! I can’t wait to share with you what we have planned for the next phase of this house—we’ve really poured our hearts into creating something special, and it’s about to start taking shape.

Today, I launched the “Renovation Diaries” series on camillestyles.com where I’ll be walking you through the design process room-by-room over the next several months. Though we’ve had to make most of the big decisions during this planning phase, I’m sure there will be lots of details that I’ll want all of you to weigh in on. If you’re not super into design, no worries—I’m going to keep most of the details off Substack and on the site. But if you’re as design-obsessed as I am, get excited because we’re going to get into the nitty gritty over there. I’ll give you a heads-up here when there’s an update so you don’t miss a thing.

First up: Zuma Beach House Chapter 1

In our first big design post here, I’m sharing a birds-eye view of how the house will change, what we’re keeping and what we’re changing, an overview of the design style, and some of the final renderings so you can see where we’re headed.

Thanks to all of you for staying interested and checking in on this project for literal years—I’ve gotten so many DM’s and notes from you to see how it’s going, which means the world. Now let’s GOOOOO!