How to Stop Overthinking What You Said

If you’ve ever left a conversation and questioned everything you said... this one’s for you.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking: What the actual hell did I just say?

Same. Last weekend, I went to a friend's wedding. It was at a beautiful outdoor venue, we drank spicy margaritas in garden party dresses, and it was overall a really magical evening. But towards the end of the night, I had one of those conversations. You know the kind: those cringe-worthy exchanges that you can't stop replaying on the ride home.

It was someone I admired, and instead of just being myself, I slid right into "trying to impress" mode which (let's be honest) basically guarantees a combo of oversharing, weird tangents, and moments where you hear yourself talking and think, "who is this person?” I'm (kind of) laughing at the memory now but it did not feel funny at the time.

I climbed into my Uber, cheeks flushed, trying to remember what I’d even said. The conversation felt like a blur, probably because I wasn’t really there. I was so focused on how I was coming across that I disconnected from the actual human in front of me. I replayed the conversation again and again with a heavy feeling in my chest. The one thing I knew was that instead of being myself, I was performing, and it really didn't feel good. Because here's the truth:

When we’re measuring ourselves—how do I look, sound, compare?—it pulls us straight out of authenticity. And when we’re not being ourselves, true connection becomes impossible.

But here's where the story takes a slightly more positive turn.