The (Feminine) Energy for July

Less forcing, more inviting—plus, your chance to ask me anything.

Next Sunday, I’m doing my first Ask Me Anything in this newsletter, so drop your questions on this short form. Nothing’s off the table—wellness, business, beauty, being in my 40s, motherhood, boundaries, what I’m into right now. Ask away!

Through every chapter of my life, my love for the ocean has been a constant. It speaks to my soul in a way nothing else can—and I find myself always returning to it.

As a kid, we would pack up the car and head to the Gulf, and I’ll never forget the feeling—jumping through waves, the taste of salt water, sand on my skin, searching for sand dollars and starfish. It was pure freedom and total joy.

When Phoebe was born, I spent my first week as a new mother with the sound of the ocean playing through our speakers 24 hours a day. I can’t remember what first made me turn them on, but lying there with my new baby on my chest and the sound of the waves, it felt like she and I were back in the womb, cocooned in our own little world of calm. The ocean was this portal to peace in the midst of so much change.

And—as we’ve been renovating our beach house these past few years, I’ve noticed how my entire nervous system exhales when we’re there. Every morning, Adam and I take a walk by the ocean. Whatever work issues or anxieties I’d been ruminating on seem to dissolve in the sounds of crashing waves. The ocean puts everything back in perspective.

The beauty of the ocean is its rhythm. It doesn’t have to try to be powerful or calm or wild. It just is.

That sense of ease and being mirrors a shift I’ve been feeling in my own life. Much of my 30s were spent in hard-driving, hyper-productive energy (what you might call masculine energy)—building a business, raising young kids, trying to “do it all.” And while there are seasons of our life that call for that kind of energy, staying in constant doing mode can leave us exhausted, and feeling like we’re missing the whole point of life.

In my 40s, I feel myself stepping into something softer. A more feminine energy that’s less about pushing and more about receiving. It’s an energy rooted in trust—trusting God’s timing, trusting my body, trusting that I don’t have to control every outcome. It’s choosing alignment over achievement.

Earlier this week, Phoebe (now 12) and I were in a battle of the wills. I felt strongly that she should attend something, and she said that she was not going. My first instinct was to convince her to go, and when that didn’t work, I drew a line in the sand and tried to make it happen with sheer force (ie, threatening screen time privileges). And when that didn’t seem to get anywhere… I shifted my approach. I got curious and asked questions. I dug deeper beneath the surface to find out why she felt so strongly about not doing this thing. I also gave myself permission to be disappointed, and I shared that with her. And it felt like a relief to let go of the need to be right, and instead lead with compassion.

The more I learn about feminine energy, the more I see that one of its greatest strengths is its creativity. When we stop fighting the natural rhythms (of our bodies, emotions, nature) and begin trusting our intuition, it’s amazing what naturally unfolds.

So this month, instead of goals or to-do lists, I’m creating a different kind of plan. Read on for the rituals I’m leaning into to help us savor the month ahead and invite more softness and abundance into our lives.

My “Feminine Energy” July Checklist

Take what you want from my list. Make your own. I like to revisit it every weekend when I’m planning the week ahead—it helps me carve out time for the good stuff, even when life is full.